TWIRS: Men’s Figure Skating

Few sports are more manly odd than men’s figure skating.  Just the thought of getting dressed up in tight pants, a frilly top, and enough hair gel to satisfy A.C. Slater sends chills down our spine.  Oh how we miss those days.  But this week in random sports, we’re strapping on our ice skates, getting our female friends to put on skimpy outfits, and doing some couple skating right after the jump.

Figure skating gets little respect here in the U.S.  In fact, we can hardly recall seeing it other than around the Olympics.  But that shouldn’t deter anyone from watching, or Hell, even participating in skating.  Why should you get into figure skating?  Just look at the picture friends.  Take a gander and tell us you wouldn’t want to Lutz that fine young lady. 

It still astounds us; however, that men continue to skate on their own.  I mean you can go out there and parade around like you’re an extra from Robin Hood Men in Tights or you could have a hand or face full of those sweet skate pants when you lift that honey above your head.  Who wants to toe loop themself out there when you could be rocking, twizzling, or choctawing some 18-year-old hottie?

That brings us to our next point: how does skating not just get reamed by the Native American contingent?  Baseball’s Cleveland Indians get crap all the time.  Several high school and college teams have changed from nick names with Indian connotations.  Skating continues to have turns and moves called the choctaw, mowhawk, and most distrubing of all, the spread eagle.  Of course everyone knows the spread eagle was the holiest act of copulation for the Chickahominy Tribe.  Yet these tresspasses go unchecked.

In the end I guess people get their kicks how they wish.  If dressing up like that uncle that no one talks about, except when they’re real drunk, seems like a good idea, then go for it.  For our money though, we’ll stick to games that involve sticks, balls, and uh…we’d better just let this one ride before we get in too deep.  Shit.